Do you ever feel out of place?

Do you ever feel like you just don’t fit in? This is how I felt for most of my life. Let me share with you my story of not fitting in.

My parents are missionaries in the Philippines. I was four years old when my parents, my 2 sisters, and 1 brother left our home in America, to go to a country where we knew nobody. We came back to America every four years and stayed in America for one year before we returned to the Philippines.

I am in the 2nd row, 2nd from the left.

I still remember the feeling like it was just yesterday. I did not fit in when I lived in the Philippines. We were the only American family within a 4 hour radius. The Filipinos loved my family, and they were very friendly. But, I still felt like I did not fit in. Although I was loved, I could not see the love through my eyes that were full of fear and worry. I could not wait to get back to America, thinking that I would fit in once we returned there.

Each time we returned to America, it was culture shock for me. I did not know what American girls my age talked about or how they interacted with each other. I once again felt I did not fit in.

I felt like no one wanted me on their team when they would choose people for their teams to play volleyball, softball, kickball, or whatever sport we were playing in the youth group. I was always the last one chosen. I felt like an outcast.

Me, my Mom, and my brother.

I remember one Sunday in 1993, when I was sitting in church in America, I took my shoes off because that’s what I always did in the Philippines. One of the church ladies, who I was sitting close to, scolded me for taking off my shoes. She told me to put the shoes back on my feet. I did not understand. What is wrong with taking off my shoes? I only wore shoes when I absolutely had to, when I was in the Philippines. I felt like I did not fit in.

It took several years to realize that my insecurities, fear, and worry was hindering me from fitting in. God has taught me many things over the years to help me overcome my insecurities and fear. I no longer worry about fitting in. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for what God has done for me. I am secure in Christ.

Romans 8:15 says, “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.”

The moment I accepted Jesus as my Savior, God adopted me as His child. I can cry to my Heavenly Father anytime, and He will hear my cry every time. This is a tiny part of my story. Stay tuned for updates on my book where I will dig deeper into my past and how God transformed my life.

Have you ever felt like you do not fit in? Please share in the comments below 🙂